agentlelog | open | like a B- for effort

Entry tags:

open | like a B- for effort

Who: ya boy emil and you
When: now, later, etc
Where: queen's residence, around town, a farm somewhere
What: some influence jobs and a general prompt
Warnings: he may cry eventually

loren's lament

[Let the record show: Emil and any kind of paperwork have never gotten along swimmingly. He barely scraped through school and has a personal vendetta against reading for work, so this? This is honestly his worst idea to date, letting himself get roped into reading for work!!! for this Loren person. What's in it for him, he mumbles mostly to himself, but he's still doing it.

Like, not very well. But he's sitting behind a messy stack of papers, now mumbling mostly to himself about how "sort by severity" is completely subjective? For example, he has no vested interest in the rippling effects of recent upheavals on local businesses, but apparently a lot of people do! Wow! Amazing!

For the third time in an hour, he sighs loudly. Hi, you're here, so please give his woes your attention.]

This is dreadful. Does he really read all of these when no one else is here?

[Who READS??]

shock it 2 me

[The only reason Emil is even trying to help with the livestock problem is because... well. Honestly, it's because the thought of sad farm animals made him deeply upset and he was compelled to come help. What this means for the job, however, is that an overly-emotional tiny dude has become attached to at least one farm animal (like, a cute baby goat, probably) in between complaining about how the animals seem to want to follow him around and chew on various bits of his clothing.

And then, tragedy of tragedies, his favorite baby goat goes missing and he is deeply distraught. Now, at last, he is inspired to take action.

Of course, he's terrible at Craft, so his misguided attempts to do anything resembling an electric fence keep ending with him giving himself a huge dose of static electricity. Is nothing easy?]

stylish yet irresponsible use of stipend

[Or: who blew their whole stipend on clothes instead of budgeting for food? This guy. On the one hand, he can dress like a local on a whim now! That's exciting! The clothes aren't incredibly great, but they're not terrible. He's managing.

He's also incredibly hungry, which is starting to get embarrassing hours and hours after breakfast. Please feed him, or at least humor him when he very abruptly begins a Casual Conversation (hint: he's bad at this one):]

How do people get jobs here? Just wondering.

misc

[hello what do you want to do? i'm probably on board with it. you can send me a pm or pp to jojoveller with ideas or just tag wildly!! dark knights is the only job emil won't do... and for my own sake i'd like to limit job threads to 2 per job so i can handle them!! thank you

feel free to find him being terrible at magic practice or whining about morning training, etc, i am really open.]

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[Some people read too deeply into things; Lalli doesn't read deeply enough, which is why all of... this is strange and confusing and frustrating. Of course he was listening! He knows what Emil just said, remembers everything that Emil has said, but! But!!

Okay, so maybe what it all boils down to is the fact that Lalli, himself, doesn't know what he wants to hear here? He wants Emil to tell him that everything that happened yesterday is fine and he wants Emil to pretend like yesterday never happened; he wants Emil to tell him nice things again while smoothing down his hair, now that they're actually face-to-face, and he wants Emil to only talk about normal things that don't stir up weird feelings he doesn't understand. He is, in short, A Mess.

But while his first reaction is to snap back... well, the only thing he definitely knows at this moment is that he doesn't want to be mad at Emil, and that he doesn't want Emil to be mad at him, so. There's a pause here, and even though Lalli looks less than thrilled... at least he's not, like, outright scowling as he tries to think of how to handle this.]

I don't know! Everything feels weird, and I don't like it. [Slightly snippy, but—HMM, hold up, let him try this again even as his hands creep up toward his own face.] But it's my fault? I think. Because of yesterday. You say it's okay, but it's not.

[The Fake Dream! Gods. Another beat, then, before he haltingly continues with:]

I thought you weren't real, and... I upset you, so I should... apologize. For what I did.

[Touching faces and running away—dastardly deeds. Anyway, that's the apology rule Emil laid out not too long ago, yes? Is he right? Does THIS make everything better? He Is Trying.]

[Oh boy, is communication tough or what. Emil is so glad they decided to do this before he tries dragging Lalli out to eat dinner in public like a pair of bonafide real people. Really, that's honest; if this had to happen, better here, in the privacy of their own room. And it... probably does have to happen. They're on such different wavelengths about this laughably simple thing that happened yesterday&madsh; ten minutes, tops, and now they've been dealing with the fallout for a whole day.

Truly, communication is the hardest thing Emil has ever done. He wants nothing more than to run his fingers through Lalli's hair- you know, in like, a friend way- and tell him that everything really is fine, and have him believe it. That would be perfect! But that's not what's happening here. He's not even sure which things aren't okay, if he's being honest...

He has this much: there was definitely that weird bit about him being a dream, and then Lalli literally ran away from him. Are these the things that aren't okay? It's the best he can do.]

For... running away for a whole night?

[That part? The thing that was actually wrong? He can no longer restrain himself from reaching up to touch his fingertips to Lalli's... wrist; do not hide behind these hands, boy.]

I'm not mad at you, you know. Yesterday, I thought... uh.

[Oof, how does one do this? Give him a second.]

I thought it was nice?

[For running, for making things weird, for apparently continuing to make things weird—man, even Lalli doesn't know. He's used to avoiding situations like this? To, you know, walking away and/or shutting down when things get to be Too Much, but that light touch to his wrist... grounds him, in a strange sort of way. It's not enough contact to cause him to involuntarily flinch away; it's just enough contact to remind him that he's here with Emil, the one person who... stays. Tries.

So while slipping his hands over his ears and pretending like nothing is happening would be the easy way out of this... mmmnope. He leaves them right where they are as he sends Emil, like, the equivalent of mental static, because it is and it isn't about running away; he's not sure how to properly express it, so he's going to just stand here and say nothing until he hears what, exactly, Emil thought about yesterday. It was bad? It was weird? It was...

...Huh. Well. Goodbye, tight expression; hello, look of slowly dawning surprise, because, um. Aha. His eyes slide right back over to Emil.]

But... I touched you? [The "You JUST touched me" is coming, he can feel it, so, even though it's a weird (embarrassing?) thing to clarify... and even though he's gone way over his daily word limit... UGH.] Your... face.

[Not a big deal for Emil, but consider: touching can be a big deal for Lalli. Isn't not wanting people to touch your face, like? Normal??]

Edited 2019-03-19 06:37 (UTC)

[Alright— he's considering this a breakthrough, if only because Lalli stays and looks slightly less uncomfortable about the whole conversation. It still leaves Emil in the uniquely awkward position of having to explain in words why touching his face was a nice thing, and that isn't something he thought he'd have to do considering how often he himself puts his hands all over Lalli's hair, but - alright! He's doing this!]

You— yes.

[There, he's done. Yes. It was Good. The end. No, alright-]

It was nice... because it was you. You looked happy and that made me really happy.

[It's basic, but it's the truth, and who could expect anything else from the boy who makes such incredible leaps as "wow I'm so happy we can talk, what's your dramatic backstory?" Plus, keeping it this basic is probably for the best...

He doesn't grab Lalli's wrist but rather curls his fingers around his wrist lightly, not even a whole grip. Very easy to break! He's learning right now, live! Take this gently affectionate wrist touch and Understand.]

I like knowing that you think about me. Does that make sense?

[This is as close as he'll get to acknowledging The Dream right now, for everyone's sake.]

[Touching someone's hair is obviously different than touching someone's face! Get with the totally clear, not-at-all-confusing program, Emil, and stop making Lalli think about such complicated things. Or, more accurately: stop putting things in terms that Lalli actually understands, because seeing—feeling?—similarities here is... mmph. Good and bad? Comfortable and uncomfortable. Like, all it takes is a glance down at the hand touching his to remind him that, yes, he very much knows what it's like to be okay with something when one (1) particular person does it. Does he feel strangely happy when he sees a smiling, happy Emil? Yes. Does he like knowing that Emil thinks about him? Oh, without a doubt, but...

...Well! All of That basic stuff is tangled up with other, more, uh, convoluted concepts, so.]

Nnnno.

[Part "People don't like me," part defense mechanism—one that he immediately abandons with a quiet little sigh. No, he's not about to back away.]

...Yes. [This is officially the hardest thing he's had to say in twenty years of living, so please, be patient as he sounds this out.] I... like it, too? When you think about me. When you're... happy, because it's you.

[And he also liked touching Emil's stupid FACE, but give him a month or two to process that. For now... friend feelings. Super normal friend feelings.]

Lalli—

[—Oh, he's still going! No need for Emil to repeat himself in even simpler words, then, because he was about to. Then he shuts up and listens, and it's just Lalli repeating Emil's words back at him, but that's... good, all things considered. They've reached an understanding, and god, it's a huge relief.

Still, he can't believe he really just admitted something as soft and sappy as all that, but if it helps Lalli then it's worth it! He's decided! He gives his wrist a light little squeeze and sort of shifts— going in for the full-body hug-grabbing type stuff was a lot easier when he only had Lalli's facial expressions after the fact to parse how much those are appreciated, but he will restrain himself this time.

Either way, he looks much happier, so Lalli needn't worry about anything he said being weird. Actually, he said all the correct things!!]

Well, lucky for you, I think about you every day! A lot!

[That's cool to say now, yes? Yes. He's relieved enough to act like this is a very cool thing he just said, and not a goofy, soft thing.]

Okay? We're best friends, so— you make me happy.

[It's easier to repeat things than it is to try to explain things on your own, especially when you're a) terrible with words and b) apparently feeling the exact same way as the person you're parroting. And hey, it worked! ...He thinks! Lalli feels... lighter, almost, like something heavy has been lifted from his shoulders, but even better than that—ah, look at Emil? So bright as he says all of that...

...Plus, uh. Being best friends is new, and Lalli likes the sound of it—especially when it's used in a sentence, like "My best friend thinks about me all of the time." He turns that over in his mind a few times, pleased, before... carefully lowering his hands. Carefully. He's not sure what Emil's little shift was all about, but this light grip on his wrist? He doesn't mind it. Not terribly, anyway. Stay as he ponders how he makes this boy... happy...]

I... do? [...] Aha. Good.

[Just short, simple words, because Best Friendship is a mystery to him, but! He's... glad... that he can somehow make Emil happy? Things come full circle...]

You... make me happy, too. Most of the time? Even when you say weird things. [That's a big deal, coming from the person who's, like, rarely been happy. Even his normally oblivious self recognizes this, which is why he pauses.] This makes it... easier.

[And, uh, added benefit: if they keep this whatever-it-is going, he wonders if he can feel when Emil is thinking about him? That means that Emil could feel the opposite, but is Lalli considering that right now? No.]

[Wow, even when he says weird things, thanks Lalli... No, it's fine, even this kind of weird description makes Emil feel good. They couldn't understand each other for so long, he had to wonder- but only, like, a few times, and not recently- if Lalli only put up with him without, uh, appreciating his antics. He makes Lalli happy. Great! That was ostensibly part of the plan!

He didn't have a plan, but in retrospect: totally part of it. So, there— in the end, things have turned out for the better. Clearly he's right all the time, every time he thinks that things will be better in the end because they have each other... friendship is a beautiful thing...

Give him a moment to clue in to what "this" is supposed to be, because he's still dumb-]

Oh. You think so?

[Hmm... Well, if it helps...]

I'm not getting tired from this, are you? I suppose we can... keep it like this.

[Little does Lalli know, he's signing up for the Inane Emil Thoughts newsletter. It's alright, all the good parts are about Lalli.]

[It does indeed help, probably because words just... zip across the connection without Lalli having to actually say them. That tiny, missing step makes all the difference when Lalli has to chat about complicated things like feelings. It's smoother? Easier, somehow, for him to talk about things he's not used to talking about.

So this is good! Very good, actually, and Emil might just feel a tiny ripple of... satisfaction? Relief? Both in equal measure.]

Mmh. I'm... glad. [Has Lalli ever said that in his life? He wonders.] It's easy. Nice.

[Nice to know that Emil is there without one of them being trapped in the other's mind? AND nice to know when Emil means exactly what he says! Well, it's not like this has been a big issue so far, but Lalli remembers Tuuri's weird jokes-that-were-apparently-not-jokes; with this... whatever it is, Lalli doesn't have to worry about that with Emil. Good.

Still, while Lalli would be content to keep conversations constrained to this space, he's not dumb; he recognizes that (best) friendships require a bit of give-and-take, which is why he... clears his throat a bit. Like, in the real world.]

But we can still talk like this? Because you like to.

[Look at this sacrifice he's making? Love him.]

[Aha— Lalli using actual words out loud. That's his best boy... The feeling of the mental connection in the back of his mind when they're not technically using it might take some getting used to- he expects it to, actually, but it's still kind of... comforting? How many times did he wish, back out in the horrible frozen wasteland, that he could know where Lalli was and how he was doing when he was out all alone doing his scouting thing? Sooo many times.

And not because Lalli isn't great at his job, etc, he's wonderful and so on, please. But there's a definite comfort in the idea that they can stay... stuck together, kind of. It's good!!]

Hah— it's not all bad, you know.

[Talking out loud... Truly, relationships (platonic) are about Compromise. Emil lets go of Lalli's wrist, finally, but not before squeezing his hand for just a second.]

Soooo... do you want to get something to eat? I have money.

[If Lalli has learned anything these past few months, it's that talking isn't inherently the worst thing in the world—even when Emil's stupid Swedish is involved. Still, do the corners of his lips twitch downward as he glances down at his newly freed wrist? Yes, because the effort he has to put forth, man... the effort...

But okay! Fine! Things are really starting to feel normal again, which is a definite blessing. Lalli pulls his hand back to him, absentmindedly rubbing his wrist as he considers this brand new information (that has nothing to do with emotions, thank GOD). Sure, he's incredibly hongry, but Emil having money meeeeeeans—]

...Ah. You found a job?

[He never thought this day would come, and dear Lord, it SHOWS! Flash that cash... let him see what they're working with here...]

[Oh cool, he's going to disappoint Lalli immediately after they had such a good talk. Uh!]

Uhhhh... not exactly? Unless they want me to come back.

[He didn't ask! He didn't think this through! Running off with the cash is the responsible, adult way to handle employment, for sure. Finally he can grab his envelope of sweet dosh from the bedside table and hold it out. Behold.]

Well, there's enough for a real meal.

[Wouldn't Emil's boss... want him to come back? Lalli's boss back in Keuruu always wanted him to report in the next night, so this... makes little sense; thankfully, however, Emil whips out his hard-earned reward before a) Lalli's brain overheats or b) Lalli says something rude to ruin these good vibes.

But ah, that sure is... money. Not a lot of it? But it's nothing to sneeze at, either, so...]

Hmm. Something... without bread?

[He knows that Emil is OVER plain bread? Plus he's, you know, not a huge fan of it himself, which is why, when he's done rubbing his wrist—well. He could give Emil a pat! He could! But this feels like a bigger thing, so Lalli reaches out to gently—and awkwardly—sock him in the arm instead. Good!!! Job!!!]

[Something without bread... speaking his language. Soup, maybe, as long as nobody throws it!! He's about to suggest as much- without the scolding- when Lalli just up and friendly-punches him in the arm. This happened? Oh.

Well—]

Hah, thanks! I'll get you something for helping me with the magic thing.

[A very small cupcake, or something similar. Soup, and tiny cupcakes...]

Let's go see the restaurants and decide! [A whole outing!!!] Maybe they have, I don't know, specials instead of the usual boring things.

[Give him the world's tiniest cupcake and watch his entire face light up, because this past day... has been incredibly stressful? He's hungry and exhausted and so, so relieved that things are, you know, back to normal, even though openly admitting that might just put him in a coma for another week. So many feelings, so little time...

Anyway, while he's going to sleep like a baby tonight—right now it's all about the FOOD his friend is kindly providing.]

Specials...

[What makes specials... special... he's going to ponder this as he turns to head for the door.]

We'll look for the best one? The... best special. [Hmm. What a weird thing to hear himself say?] With the most food.

[Quantity over quality! Aw yeah.]

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